It's How You Play the Game: The Powerful Sports Moments That Taught Lasting Values to America's Finest
Brian Kilmeade, 2007
Why would a player chase down an opponent with everything he has in a game that's already lost? An American TV host asked ninety people, from champions to senators, what sports had really given them, and they barely mentioned titles. What you get here are stories about the bench, screaming coaches and their worst days. And out of them come six clear answers to one question: how to behave when everything is going badly.
Who it is for
For anyone going through a hard stretch and wondering whether to give it all up. And for parents, coaches and leaders who care what becomes of the people in their charge.
If I let you quit because you didn't beat this kid, you'll be quitting things your whole life.
The game is lost, and he's still running
The Super Bowl, the championship game of American football. Buffalo is losing to Dallas 52–17. The ball drops onto the field, Leon Lett of Dallas, a giant of nearly 300 pounds, scoops it up and runs for the line that puts points on the board. Don Beebe of Buffalo turns around and takes off after him. He catches Lett but can't bring down a man that size. And when Lett holds the ball out to the side, Beebe knocks it away.
After the game the team's owner, Ralph Wilson, came up to Beebe with tears in his eyes and said: “That play represents what we are about in this organization.” Beebe got boxes of fan mail. Why run when the game is already lost? And why did it move so many people?
American TV host Brian Kilmeade collected stories like this one. He did ninety interviews: with champions, coaches, senators, actors, businesspeople. Kilmeade himself is struck by how rarely these conversations turn to titles.
He considers sports the best classroom for life: the score is forgotten, but the effort and the way a person holds up under pressure stay with them. That's the author's opinion, not a law. All his storytellers ended up achieving something, and each one speaks only about what sports taught them personally.
What follows are six questions from ordinary life, and the first is one everybody knows: when is it okay to quit?
You can quit once you've won
When is it okay to quit something that isn't working out? The mother of Evander Holyfield, the future four-time world heavyweight boxing champion, answered that question for her son. The same opponent beat him twice at a junior tournament, and Evander announced he was giving up boxing.
His mother wouldn't allow it. She told him most people quit things when they're not doing well, and added: “Beat this kid, win the division, then come to me and we'll do whatever you want with boxing.” At twelve he got another shot, won and ran home. “Okay, Evander, now you can quit boxing,” his mother said. “Are you crazy?” he answered. “Why would I quit after beating my toughest opponent?” Only then did he realize what she had been trying to teach him.
Deciding such things after a failure is like going to the store hungry: you don't buy what you need, you buy whatever will kill the hunger right now. When you leave after a win, you're choosing. When you leave after a defeat, you're often just running from the pain.
You are allowed to leave, though. Holyfield himself gave up American football, but only after proving to his coach in the last game of the season that he could play.
Steve Young, a future American football star, went a whole high school baseball season without a single hit, 0 for 46, and wanted to hide. Instead he spent the entire summer fixing his game with his father. At eleven, Joe Montana wanted to quit American football for the Boy Scouts, and his father said: “Make it through the season and then make your decision.” Set that kind of finish line for whatever you're doing. The main mistake here is taking tiredness for an answer.
About the author
Brian Kilmeade is an American TV host, co-host of the morning show Fox & Friends since 1997, a sports journalist and a youth soccer coach. His first book about sports and life, The Games Do Count, became a bestseller.
All books by this author: Brian Kilmeade
Terms from the book
- Super Bowl
- Wilson
- Young
- Torres
- Green
- Roosevelt
- American football: A team game with an oval ball, where points come from getting the ball across a line on the opponent's side. It's a different sport from European football.
- Lett: Leon Lett, the Dallas player chased down by Don Beebe in the final.
- Beebe: Don Beebe, an American football player who played for Buffalo and Green Bay. He played in six Super Bowls and won one.
- Holyfield: Evander Holyfield, an American boxer and four-time world heavyweight champion.
- Montana: Joe Montana, an American football player and four-time Super Bowl winner.
- Cheek: Joey Cheek, an American speed skater and 2006 Olympic champion at 500 meters.
- Garrido: Augie Garrido, an American baseball coach who won the national college title five times.
- Newman: Wallace Newman, the American football coach at Whittier College.
- Hamm: Mia Hamm, an American soccer player and two-time Olympic champion.
- Dorrance: Anson Dorrance, an American soccer coach who worked with Mia Hamm in college and on the national team.
- Balboa: Marcelo Balboa, an American soccer player, captain of the U.S. national team and a veteran of three World Cups.
- Tryout: A trial at which a coach decides whether to take a player onto the team.
- Crack: A powerful drug, a smokable form of cocaine.
- McGraw: Muffet McGraw, coach of the University of Notre Dame women's basketball team.
- Lobo: Rebecca Lobo, an American basketball player and 1996 Olympic champion.
- Auriemma: Geno Auriemma, coach of the University of Connecticut women's basketball team.
- Foreman: George Foreman, an American boxer, two-time world heavyweight champion and 1968 Olympic champion.
- Broadus: Doc Broadus, the boxing coach who brought George Foreman into the sport.
- Blank: Arthur Blank, an American entrepreneur and founder of the Home Depot chain of stores.
- Almonte: Joe Almonte, captain of Arthur Blank's high school team.
- Lynch: John Lynch, an American football player and Super Bowl winner.
- Hart: John Hart, young Theodore Roosevelt's opponent at a boxing tournament.
- Player: Gary Player, a South African golfer and winner of nine major tournaments.
All terms
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